My Child’s Father Wants to Know ‘Who’s the Daddy’—but He’s the One Who’s Been Cheating

Dear DNA Centre,
I've been in a relationship for three years. We moved in together after I got pregnant, and our son is now 2 months old. I've never been unfaithful. He cheated early on. He said he wants a paternity test. I'm positive that our son is his, and I'm offended that he would question if he is the father.—Anonymous

I get why you're offended. His asking for a paternity test implies that he has some doubts about being the father and that you may have been having sex with someone else—and, worse, doing so unprotected. In so many words, he's saying that he doesn't really trust you. Because you've mentioned his infidelity all these years later, I'm guessing that it's still a sore spot for you, despite the fact that you stayed with him. You've got to be thinking, "Hold up. You cheated and I didn't leave, and then you come through with this?!"

I'm sure you're angry. You have a right to be. And I'm sure that he knew you would be, but he asked anyway. I get why he did. Stories abound about men who believed a child to be theirs biologically, only to discover later that the child was not, sometimes after years of paying child support. This is a great fear of many men, and although it's exploited for amusement on talk shows like Maury, it's not entirely unfounded.

Some years ago, The Atlantic ran a story by Steve Olson on "nonpaternity events," the geneticist's term for a guy who may be a father, but not biologically.

"[Geneticists] rarely publish their findings, but the numbers are common knowledge within the genetics community,” Olson wrote. "In graduate school, genetics students typically are taught that 5 to 15 percent of the men on birth certificates are not the biological fathers of their children. In other words, as many as one of every seven men who proudly carry their newborn children out of a hospital could be a cuckold." A later New York Times story on paternity testing included a statistic that said 30 percent of men who question whether they are the father are actually right to question.

So yeah, it's not entirely unheard of for some women to lie or be mistaken about the paternity of their child. I get why an unmarried man, even one who actually trusts his partner, would ask for a test in order to be doubly sure for his own peace of mind.

Here's another rub: In some cases, even when the man discovers that the child isn't biologically his, after years of paying support, not only doesn't he get a refund for the money spent on someone else's biological child, but he is also mandated to continue paying. In other cases, men have been forced to pay just because their partner put their name on the birth certificate, even though DNA proved that the child wasn't theirs.

Beyond finances, it's also emotionally devastating to find out that a child you thought was "yours," biologically speaking, is not.

A few months ago, a guy wrote in to Ask Belle with a similar story. His longtime live-in girlfriend and mother of his child had broken up with him. To spite her, he asked for a paternity test for their son, specifically to make her feel the way you do right now. Well, he took the kid to get tested and discovered that his 4-year-old was not biologically his. "The mother has to back pay me yet that doesn't make me feel any better," he wrote. "I know men aren't supposed to cry, but everything is hurting even my toenails."

Idris Elba expressed a similar sentiment in GQ about his discovery that his son was not biologically his: "The celebration of having a son, from a man's perspective, it's massive," he told the magazine. "To be given that and then have it taken away so harshly was like taking a full-on punch in the face: POW.”

Not that your partner actually needs your consent to have the child tested, but agree to it anyway as a formality so that this doesn't become a bigger issue. What you don't want is a man shirking his responsibilities as a father (or mistreating the child) because he questions whether the child is his.

Once your partner's paternity is established, have a serious conversation about the lingering (or ongoing) trust issues in your relationship. Also consider family counseling to address the lingering resentment you have about his infidelity and, possibly, your resentment about his concern over paternity and his mistrust of you. Even if this relationship fizzles out, both of you need to be trusting enough and tolerant of each other to properly co-parent the child you share

DNA CENTRE FOR PATERNITY TEST-NIGERIA

 

DNA CENTRE FOR PATERNITY TEST-NIGERIA
Dear DNA Centre,
I've been in a relationship for three years. We moved in together after I got pregnant, and our son is now 2 months old. I've never been unfaithful. He cheated early on. He said he wants a paternity test. I'm positive that our son is his, and I'm offended that he would question if he is the father? —Anonymous

I get why you're offended. His asking for a paternity test implies that he has some doubts about being the father and that you may have been having sex with someone else—and, worse, doing so unprotected. In so many words, he's saying that he doesn't really trust you. Because you've mentioned his infidelity all these years later, I'm guessing that it's still a sore spot for you, despite the fact that you stayed with him. You've got to be thinking, "Hold up. You cheated and I didn't leave, and then you come through with this?!"

I'm sure you're angry. You have a right to be. And I'm sure that he knew you would be, but he asked anyway. I get why he did. Stories abound about men who believed a child to be theirs biologically, only to discover later that the child was not, sometimes after years of paying child support. This is a great fear of many men, and although it's exploited for amusement on talk shows like Maury, it's not entirely unfounded.

Some years ago, The Atlantic ran a story by Steve Olson on "nonpaternity events," the geneticist's term for a guy who may be a father, but not biologically.

"[Geneticists] rarely publish their findings, but the numbers are common knowledge within the genetics community,” Olson wrote. "In graduate school, genetics students typically are taught that 5 to 15 percent of the men on birth certificates are not the biological fathers of their children. In other words, as many as one of every seven men who proudly carry their newborn children out of a hospital could be a cuckold." A later New York Times story on paternity testing included a statistic that said 30 percent of men who question whether they are the father are actually right to question.

So yeah, it's not entirely unheard of for some women to lie or be mistaken about the paternity of their child. I get why an unmarried man, even one who actually trusts his partner, would ask for a test in order to be doubly sure for his own peace of mind.

Here's another rub: In some cases, even when the man discovers that the child isn't biologically his, after years of paying support, not only doesn't he get a refund for the money spent on someone else's biological child, but he is also mandated to continue paying. In other cases, men have been forced to pay just because their partner put their name on the birth certificate, even though DNA proved that the child wasn't theirs.

Beyond finances, it's also emotionally devastating to find out that a child you thought was "yours," biologically speaking, is not.

A few months ago, a guy wrote in to Ask Belle with a similar story. His longtime live-in girlfriend and mother of his child had broken up with him. To spite her, he asked for a paternity test for their son, specifically to make her feel the way you do right now. Well, he took the kid to get tested and discovered that his 4-year-old was not biologically his. "The mother has to back pay me yet that doesn't make me feel any better," he wrote. "I know men aren't supposed to cry, but everything is hurting even my toenails."

Idris Elba expressed a similar sentiment in GQ about his discovery that his son was not biologically his: "The celebration of having a son, from a man's perspective, it's massive," he told the magazine. "To be given that and then have it taken away so harshly was like taking a full-on punch in the face: POW.”

Not that your partner actually needs your consent to have the child tested, but agree to it anyway as a formality so that this doesn't become a bigger issue. What you don't want is a man shirking his responsibilities as a father (or mistreating the child) because he questions whether the child is his.

Once your partner's paternity is established, have a serious conversation about the lingering (or ongoing) trust issues in your relationship. Also consider family counseling to address the lingering resentment you have about his infidelity and, possibly, your resentment about his concern over paternity and his mistrust of you. Even if this relationship fizzles out, both of you need to be trusting enough and tolerant of each other to properly co-parent the child you share

Can a Man Sue his wife for paternity fraud?

Can a Man Sue his wife for paternity fraud?

A woman has been arrested and arraigned after a DNA test showed that her two children do not belong to her partner. Edith is said to have been in a relationship with the man for 10 years and she had two children during this period.

The man has been financially responsible for the two children until he decided to do a DNA test.

Here is an excerpt from Punch Newspapers report;

Bright was said to be aware that the woman was going out with other men, but could not raise the alarm to avoid trouble.

He, however, summoned up courage and challenged her on the legitimacy of the children on September 24, 2014 after he could not raise more than N170,000 of the rent which Edith and her mother allegedly requested from him.

He was said to have taken the children to a hospital where a DNA test reportedly revealed he was not their biological father.

A prosecutor, Olusoji Ojaokomo, preferred three counts of fraud against 32-year-old Edith and her mother.

The charges read in part, “That you, Edith Bidokwu and Rita Bidokwu, on September 24, 2014, at about 8pm on Ibitoye Street, Ajegunle, Lagos, in the Apapa Magisterial District, did conspire to commit felony to wit; obtaining money under false pretence and thereby committed an offence punishable under Section 409 of the Criminal Law of Lagos State, Nigeria, 2011.

Can a woman be sued if paternity tests come out negative? Can she be sued for deceit, fraud or any thing at all?

DNA Centre for Paternity Test is located at 73 Allen Avenue, Ikeja Lagos. Tel: 07059999333

Who needs a paternity test, and why?

DNA CENTRE FOR PATERNITY TEST NIGERIA
Who needs a paternity test, and why?

A common situation is one where the mother has had a number of sexual partners and the father has genuine doubts that the baby may be his. His views may be influenced by impending requests for child maintenance contributions. This often occurs when the parents are not living together, possibly even following a ‘one night stand’.

In other cases, the father wants to be part of the child’s life because he is adamant that the child is his, whereas the mother claims it is another man’s child simply to get him out of her life. 

Sometimes doubts over paternity, doubts that have never been suggested previously, will be triggered by other events. For example, when a couple separates on bad terms, the mother could try and claim that the child is not the father’s. The mother will know whether or not this is true, but the father won’t.  Even if these claims are unfounded, they may sow seeds of doubt that cannot be ignored.

It is also common for doubts over paternity to be triggered by a contact application some considerable time after separation despite contact with, and financial support for, the child over several years.

Should you doubt the paternity of a child, you can contact DNA Centre For Paternity Test (Nigeria) at 73 Allen Avenue, Ikeja Lagos. 07059999333.

FATHER AND CHILD PATERNITY TEST CASE STUDY

After 30 years of suspicion and much doubt, after the passing of his wife, a father of three sons wanted to have a covert DNA paternity test. The father suspected that early on in his marriage an affair had taken place and that potentially one or more of his sons were not his. Regardless of the results, the father still would love and care for them, but he had a burning desire to find the truth. An investigation was initiated in hopes of finding out if the boys were in fact his sons by blood.

The father provided us A DNA cheek swab (DNA oral saliva collection utensil), Toothbrush and an underwear of the 3rd son

Conclusion:
The DNA on both the cheek swab and toothbrush were analyzed and came back with a 99.9998% chance of being the father’s son. The DNA on the underwear also came back with the same results.

Now the father has the satisfaction of knowing that the woman he loved was faithful and the children he raised were in fact his own.

What to do next:
If you are facing a similar situation and would like to finally set your mind at ease, please contact one of our highly trained professionals 24 hours a day / 7 days a week.  Our on call private geneticists are available anytime for a free consultation to discuss your case.  We can be reached on 07059999333 and you can also contact us online at www.dnanigeria.com

DNA Profiling

Our DNA profiling service at DNA Centre allows individuals to obtain a record of their genetic profile—a unique combination of 16 markers found in their DNA Profile

DNA that serves as a permanent genetic ID

Organizations and private individuals choose to obtain records of their DNA profiles in case identification is ever needed, as in the following examples:

*Future paternity tests in case of claims on a person's estate

*To provide a standard for comparison and identification of people in high-risk professions, such as men and women in the military, law enforcement personnel, firefighters, and overseas contractors

*To assist with the identification of missing persons or during fatal emergencies.

*To give clues about the trail of a missing loved one

WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT ABOUT ESTABLISHING PATERNITY?

WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT ABOUT ESTABLISHING PATERNITY?

A. Establishing Paternity for your child is an extremely important event.
1.Your child has the right to all the benefits that come with establishing paternity.
2.You and your child have the right to a father-child relationship.
3.You both deserve the opportunity to develop, enjoy and grow in this relationship.
4.Your child may be entitled to your benefits such as health insurance, social security, pensions, veterans’ benefits and child support.
5.Your child will have the right to inheritance.
6.Your child will know about his/her medical background.
7.Your child will have a sense of identity and belonging.